The Driver
JWLew
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Name: James a.k.a. SeAn JoHn
Country: United States
State: Nevada
Metro: Reno
Birthday: 1/18/1988
Gender: Male


Interests: cars, a long term relationships, parties, and stuff thats funn all in one
Expertise: Marine Biology ,cars any thing hot cut right off the block, cells, sound, and U im one bitch u cant fuck over cuss im part of the getto nation
Occupation: Student
Industry: Media


Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM: JWLew


Member Since: 5/24/2004

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Monday, December 01, 2008

fuck this place we call home

it sickens me

 

i want to die

just scream on the top of a moutian

 

and pull the trigger

 

i hate this life and all its useless quirks

 

its repulsive and i wish i could end it

 

but where will it leave the rest of the people i know

 

im thinking my 24th birthday i should do it

 

just die for once and see where that takes me

 

my mortality sickens me

so if you know how to change that

please let me know before

01-18-2013

 

i guess what id like is either to not live at all

 

or to live forever

 

ha thats rich

a guy who wants to kill himself but wants to live forever

 

i really am fucked up

 

 


Thursday, January 05, 2006

wow where has my life gone where am i going its just so hard ne more to find time to do ne thing the people i love and care about r drifting away but is it because of me or them who has changed for the worse or for the better my best friend is tottaly different from 3 mothns ago did i not care to notice till then and money my shcool work drops in gpa and the less hours i work at best buy my money goes in my account just to be spent the next day me going out getting drunk why i ask my self y do i need to be drunk to be happy y cant i get over some things that have happend this year i miss things more and more every day and i have a dream every night im suposed to be at the beach it looks like cali some where in southern cali and it says ill be happy once i reach the ocean what is there what is my dream trying to tell me.why am i such a asohole to people they really never did ne thing to me y cant i find the girl i want to be wit why cant a tell one of them i love them and the other i think were better off as friends is it more misleading to let her belive we may go out some day or tell her there is some one else why do i have to look like the ass hole my new friends there great yet not how do i know i can count on them i shut my self off from people or is it people that shut them selves off to me dose ne one really truely know me but if they do y dont i know my self where am i going to go for collage unr unlv ai of seattle idk and when will i know and how will i pay for it  i feel so unpopluar and yet people tell me other wise and when i look in the mirror y cant i see beyond the ugly to the good y is the negative before the positive i see people look past ther family like they dont want it y i never got one yes i have one but broken severl times would it have been better if my parents never divirced and stayed in cali or better they did and i go to reno  will i end up like one othe the teens u see on the news that took his life y dose it matter people would just move on wit there lives ne ways i dont think i affect your life that much honestly if i were gone u live ur forget or am i  lieing if you were to die in all honesty would i just put the memorys of you with countless others deep inside of me to sort out later why cant i deal with things like that y do i run form it y do i have to feel this way all i ask for is happy


Sunday, December 04, 2005

myla if u have a xanga and u see this what ever i dont care u will here it from me some time i need to know what it is u want from me i call u and we talk for hours but y is it me that all ways makes plans that u say sound great then back out a hour before like friday i asked if u wanted to come to my house since my parents were away and id cook u dinner we would watch ur favorite movie and just hab fun or the time i asked u to the movies then ur sis got sick  that wasnt ur fault but u never even tryed after that like the next day to do some thing am i not ur type cuss i asked ue sis and she said u did like me so why not show it i like u but u seem to not even care i cant take this i want u in my life but u need to feel the same all i want is some one to love me as me and thats it its not so hard u would think just to be loved ill call u at 9 to pick u up for breakfast and since u wanted to go tonight ill c what u say tomarrow and if u bail on me this time i want u to know u ruined this thing we have not me


Saturday, November 05, 2005

hello all well so much has been going on but one thing i must say is silly stringing my car is gay who da fuck dose that? also i hope ana will come to dinner wit me i know its a jump and all but hell after giving her that guess purse i have a feeling that she will but for the wrong reasons cuss i sent her a text saying if she didnt feel the same as i did then just be honest and let me know well ne mah hoo work is ok im seeing if i can get andew to work there it should be sweet also im sliping in my studys so im rushing to keep them up for one more set of nine weeks gah its hard well ne ways im loving my cell phone but plez start texting me more im only using 500 a month im paying for 1,000 so more texts plez so back the the ana thing should i see about her bri or myla god its confusing oh well in art i made a cool box thing might be abile to sell it for like 200 bucks hell ill put it down for 2,000 some rich fuck will buy it lol also since no one is going to read this my trunk has been violated my my best friend didnt think leaving him in the car for 10 mins i would find them(chix that was wit him) in da trunk doing it   oh well so basicly my trunk has been broken in at least it wasnt the back seat well ne ways some thing else i need back in my life damn a year is a long time aslo im leaving my group that got made up this year people are bitches and need to get over them selves so me and my best friend r gonna go and fucking just leave them damn i hope karma dosnt bite us on the ass for this one ne whoo where gonna go to da prep side and jock side even though ive got beef wit da varsity quarterback ha just my luck to hate the main person on a undefeated team. also ive been going to the gym to impress ana ive gotten pretty buff ive got half pex now lol instead of boobs still need abs but my arms have no fat what so ever for once i mean none u cant pinch da skin when i flex lol so i guess my life is ok i miss my car and other things as well but most people dont know or have forgotten but its ok i was thinking about going to da doc for some zoloft or some thing cuss i think im depressed and perhaps i have ADHD mabey thats why i cant foacse how ever u spell it well ne ways im hella tired still and ive got to go to work soon btw i have a myspace but ur gonna have to find it


Friday, October 14, 2005

well ive been busy wow havent been on this 4 ever well ne whoo thats all ive got time 4 lata



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